intimate....

There are lots of songs that have personal meaning to me, and i guess that's why i listen to the music i do and is one of the main requirements in finding new music. There are bands that i really like and there are bands that i am literally passionate about because of the content behind the music and within the lyrics.

There are songs that have helped me through hard times in the past years, realizing that other people are going through the same issues as you are and they are doing it through beautiful music. I have since gotten over the issues that i was going through but there are 2 songs that me more to me than most. Both from the same album and ironically one fight after the other.

On AFI's album Sing the Sorrow, Track #12 is 15:07 long its called "...But Home is Nowhere" which is the first song and then there is a few minutes of silence then a spoken word poem is recited in 3 parts. The first part is spoken by a young boy, then the second is recited by Davey and the third is recited by an old man, representing the stages of life. Then after some silence it goes into "This Time Imperfect". Which is one of the most beautifully sung and honestly heartfelt songs of my generation.

I always hear ignorant people say when they read songs like this and call them "emo", and call them whining, depressing and whatever else they can come up with. But to those i say that you don't understand. Not everyone leads perfect lives, and have perfect situations. And if you wanna listen to frivolous music base on your frivolous life, thats cool, go ahead. (excuse the rant, i've had to defend even music that i don't even like cause of ignorant people)

If you have time i encourage you to read them straight through while listening to the music.

Here are the lyrics from "...But Home is Nowhere" and the spoken poem and "This Time Imperfect"

....But Home is Nowhere

Twenty-six years and seems like I've just begun
To understand my, my intimate is no one
When the director sold the show, who bought its last rites?
They cut the cast, the music, and the lights

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I ever end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone

Twenty-six years end, still speaking in these tongues
Such revelations while understood by no one
When the new actor stole the show, who questioned his grace?
Please clear the house of ill-aquired taste

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I ever end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone

Give me something, give me something
Give me something, give me something
Give me something, give me something real

I lay strewn across the floor, can't solve this puzzle
Everyday another small piece can't be found
I lay strewn across the floor, pieced up in sorrow
The pieces are lost, these pieces don't fit
Pieced together incomplete and empty

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I ever end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone

This is my line, this is eternal
How did I end up here?
Discarnate, preternatural
My prayers to disappear
Absent of grace, marked as infernal
Ungranted in dead time left me disowned
To this nature, so unnatural
I remain alone
___________________________________________

(spoken word)

We held hands on the last night on earth.
Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees,
screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves.
It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated
along the bottom of the river.
So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea
and the shattered seasons lay,
and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease.
In our cancer of passion you said, "Death is a midnight runner."
The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide.
We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes
of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress.
The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn
as the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop.
The few insects skittered away in hopes of a better pastime.
I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked
if you would accompany me in a quick fall,
but you made me realize that my ticket wasn't good for two.
I rode alone.
You said, "The cinders are falling like snow."
There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty,
bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence.
Of blue and grey.
Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the city.
The sun was stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon
and the darkness is a mystery of curves and lines.
Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward,
and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched
into the earth like a message

-----------------------------------

This Time Imperfect

I cannot leave here, I cannot stay,
Forever haunted, more than afraid.
Asphyxiate on words I would say,
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue.

There are no flowers, no not this time,
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words, I find.
I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this, hurts me.

I cannot stay here, I cannot leave,
Just like all I loved, I make believe.
Imagine heart, I disappear, seems,
No one will appear, here and make me real.

There are no flowers, no not this time,
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words, I find.
I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this, hurts me.

I'd tell you how it haunts me,
I'd tell you how it haunts me,
(cuts through my day, and sinks into my dreams.)
I'd tell you how it haunts me,
(cuts through my day, and sinks into my dreams.)
You don't care that it haunts me.

Oh,
There are no flowers, no not this time,
There'll be no angels gracing the lines,
Just these stark words, I find.
I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,
I'd share with you could I only speak,
Just how much this, hurts me.

Just how much this, hurts me.

Just how much you...